The Comedy Thread - Jokes, Cartoons, Whatever

I've been suspended from Twitter for at least 6 days.

On a thread about Trump running in 2024 I had replied, "With the way he eats, he'll be dead by then."

Banned for threatening statements.

:rolleyes:
Social media has become just a complete fucking dumpster fire. 6 years ago or so I spent a good deal of time online. I barely log on anymore. It's all either sanctimonious bullshit or some new conspiracy theory that's so full of shit it's ridiculous. Nobody has any brains anymore. You can't talk about anything anymore. I think I might spend at most two hours per week online anymore and most of that is just checking the local news and weather. I've just had it with other people's complete bullshit. This is about the only social media site I visit anymore. Facebook and all it's different platforms and Twitter are just raging fucking dumpster fires of bullshit.
 
So, not sure who's a Star Trek fan but there's an episode(s) of Deep Space 9 you may want to watch/re-watch. It a two-parter called Past Tense.

Much like the Simpson's gags coming true decades later (Trump presidency, a pandemic and killer bees, Homer calculating the Higgs boson particle 14 years before it's found - it a freaking wild list), this Trek episode seems scarily close to a possible reality for us.

You'll probably find the best copy on a CBS pay stream but it may be available elsewhere.
 
There goes about 5 years of life I will never get back.

Normally, I get up about 5:45, grab a shower and shave, dress, then head downstairs about 6:15, start the coffee, turn on the news, fire up the laptop and start my morning.

I'll wake my son up about 6:45 so he can brush his teeth, get dressed, have a breakfast and some time to wake up and get going before the bus comes. I'll take my wife her coffee and breakfast around 7:00 to get her up and going.

Rarely, my son's bedroom light will be on. (His door is just to the left of ours) He'll hear me come out and he'll open his door and join me.

Well, today, it was sort of business as usual. I got up, shaved, showered, dressed, turned off the light and went I went out my bedroom door and quietly closed it and turned to go down the stairs there's this apparition there.

The upstairs hall is lit very dimly by two night lights at either end. What I saw, with my eyes still not adjusted from having just turned off the really bright bathroom lighting, scared the flying bejesus out of me. I'm serious. Chills went down my spine. I froze in place. I felt like I was in the money chapter of a Stephen King novel.

And then my son said, "Good morning, dad."

So after checking my heart to see if it was in fact still beating, I said, "Jesus Christ, son! What are you doing standing here in the dark?!"

He says, "Waiting for you. Did I scare you?"

I'm telling you, I went from 54 to 59 instantly. Scared the flying hell out of me.
 
About 12inches total but it's drifted and covered in additional snow/ice pellets with an underlying crust. There was also some rain mixed in yesterday afternoon. Subdivision isn't cleared yet. My guy will likely be over after the plow has been through.

Kept the power though!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gomez Adams
You probably have to know who Peyton Manning is for this to be really and truly hysterical. Here is two times super bowl champion, 5x most valuable player, hall of fame quarterback (and arguably the greatest ever) on Saturday Night Live talking about the games yesterday to decide who goes to the super bowl.