Ziering11 of Wonka – Fail Fucktard Crybaby Extraordinaire

Gomez Adams

Grammar Fascist
Staff member
Dec 1, 2020
Suwanee, Georgia
Original Author: Thing 1
November 17, 2018

Well folks, it’s been a while since we’ve done an in-game post. This is of course because nobody plays the fucking game anymore, so forgive us. But this one comes to us from Dirty Camel, and it’s fucking hysterical.

Once again, it’s the Wonka clan showing their true assholiness by way of Ziering11. Now, just for the record, this one isn’t totally down to Wonka. After all, Wonka is one of many of the failed clans that went tits up when most reputable players left. They took in Ziering about two months ago and probably had no idea the complete fail asshole they were getting.

So anywho, this game starts out and ends like any other with a fail, fucktard, power platoon, stat-padding whore: he rushes in, dies very quickly, spends the rest of the game ridiculing everybody.

So here’s the opening shot:


Now, already Ziering11 is a good 3 tank lengths out ahead of Dirty Camel right at the start. Then add the fact that the Conqueror is about 10 kph faster than the T5 heavy, then Dirty Camel’s chances of keeping up with Ziering11 are fucking ZERO.

Does Ziering11 take any of that into account?

FUCK NO! He’s in a power platoon of a once decent clan! Everybody should just magically shit rocket power and go with him to protect him wherever he goes.

Needless to say, it doesn’t fucking happen:


Dead in exactly 1 minute and 25 seconds. What’s more, look at all the fucking red he ran head long into. It’s fucking laughable. So after a few VERY quick teammates deaths, Dirty Camel spouts off in disgust. The shit storm pretty much goes from there with Ziering11 of course knowing everything about everything and everybody else sucking. Here’s the exchange throughout the game:


Support you? Shit man, they couldn’t fucking catch you! You were a fucking idiot that ran so far out front to get to your camping spot you were already outflanked and cut off before they could make it half way to you. Moron.

As if that weren’t bad enough, he has a go at the BC 25. After all, dead people make the best advisers, don’t they?


And here he starts whipping out the old stats argument. Typical last ditch breath of a fucking loser. Also still criticizing his play…which is laughable since at this point Dirty Camel has racked up about 2 kills and 3500 damage while Mr. dead-as-hell Ziering11 (who, by the way, has a man crush on Ian Ziering, hence the name) has fuck-all.


It’s right about here where Dirty Camel and Takjack, who never really says a word the entire match, are the only ones left alive. Now, one would think if your clan mate was left trying like hell to win a match with only one other guy left alive to help you’d shut your fucking worthless pie hole and let them concentrate, right?

Fucking wrong. Ziering man-love 11 just can’t shut the fuck up.


And so after all of that, after all the shit talk, after all the “you suck, you’re no good, you’re shaking in your shoes, I’m good but dead” bullshit out of Ziering man-love 11, what happened?

Dirty Camel fucking carried. Huge.

Here the overall results:


And here is what Dirty Camel did:


And here is what that worthless piece of shit Ziering man-love 11 did:


And here is the video for all to see if you’re up to it:

Next time, Ziering11, keep your stupid fucking pie-hole shut you miserable shitter.

Top Comment: Thing 1

Well, in Ziering11’s defense, he was in a heavy. As far as getting whacked in a heavy as quickly as humanly possible, he did a damn good job.
For shits and giggles I looked him up. He must have left Wonka at some point because the official Wonka page says he's only been a member for 62 days. He's a recruit. Going on three years later he's still just a recruit. He's not been doing well lately either.


And talk about how the mighty have fallen it's pretty dismal at Wonka. They've only got 27 members with an overall win rate of 53.45%.