There's just no pleasing some people.

Gomez Adams

Grammar Fascist
Staff member
Dec 1, 2020
Suwanee, Georgia
So we're off to my rich friend's place this weekend and it suddenly occurs to my wife that my son needs new swimming trunks and a couple of new swimming shirts.

So off I go to the new sporting goods store. Just got back. It was what could be best described as a pitched melee at the store. Things were thrown everywhere, employees were struggling to not only restock but sort out the catastrophic damage the galloping herd had left behind.

I finally find the stuff, pay for it and come home.

80 bucks. 80 freaking dollars for two swim shirts and a pair of trunks.

The wife and kid weren't pleased. Not with the amount they costs, but with the fact that the swimming shirts were long sleeves. It went down something like this:

Son: these are long sleeves.
Me: of course they are. It's a swimming shirt.

Son: but I want short sleeves.
Me: what's the point?

Her: he likes short sleeves, that's the point.
Me: no, no, no. It's a swimming shirt. They're supposed to protect you from the sun while you're swimming. If you're going to use a short sleeve shirt where you have to spray sunscreen on your arms, what's the point? You'd might as well go shirtless and just use sunscreen.

Him: but I like a shirt.
Her: yeah. That.


So the wife is breaking out the sewing machine to convert two brand new Nike swimming shirts into short sleeve swimming shirts.

This is the part where I state how much I absolutely hate shopping for anybody other than myself.