The Comedy Thread - Jokes, Cartoons, Whatever
- Thread starter Gomez Adams
- Start date
When I was living in Charleston, SC, back in the early '90's, some buddies of mine and I went to a Chinese restaurant out on James Island. One of the guys, Jason, was a bit of a showboat. Our waiter, who was very Chinese and very gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) floated over to take our order. Jason was asking him what they had that was spicy. The waiter says it's anything with the small pepper next to it. Orange is hot but red is really hot.
So Jason orders some dish I'd never heard of and here it goes:
Waiter: Oh noooooooo hun. You no want that. It make you cry.
Jason: Good. That's what I want then.
W: I telling youuuuuuuu. You cry like little girl. You be sooooooo embarrassed.
J: Just shut up and give it to me.
W: OoooooooK. But you regret. You cry like little girl. I warning you.
So off he goes. The rest of us are near in tears we're laughing so hard. So a half hour goes by, here comes the food. Jason was sitting across the table from me and when the waiter put that plate down in front of him it made my eyes water. Then it continues:
W: Here you goooooooooooo. It all yours. Enjoy! *looks to the rest of us* you watch! He cry like little girl.
So we're just dying laughing and finally the waiter floats off to check on someone else.
Jason sits there staring at the plate. He looks a bit worried. His eyes are watering and he hasn't even tasted it yet. So we all start ribbing him and giving him shit over it.
Finally, he goes all in. I'm guessing he figured that if he woofed it down pretty quick it wouldn't be as bad. He shoveled about 4 or 5 bites down in quick succession and it happened.
His face turned red, his eyes just ran like someone turned on a faucet, his nose started running, he fought it but finally he's drinking his beer, then grabbing the ice water, then the salt shaker putting salt on his tongue, the whole 9 yards. Finally, he "OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE HOTTEST SHIT EVER!!!"
And as if he materialized out of thin air, there's our waiter standing right there.
W: I TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. Did I tell you you would cry like little girl? Yes I did! I said that! And there you are crying like little girl!
We all were just losing our shit we were laughing so hard. Half the restaurant was laughing with us. To this day, I have no idea what it was Jason ordered that night. But I'll never forget that waiter riding his ass until we left. And by left I mean until we pulled out of the parking lot. He walked us out to the car, still giving Jason shit.
We wound up stopping at a grocery store down the street and getting him a small carton of buttermilk. Not sure if he was exaggerating or not, but Jason said he couldn't taste anything at all for 3 days.
So Jason orders some dish I'd never heard of and here it goes:
Waiter: Oh noooooooo hun. You no want that. It make you cry.
Jason: Good. That's what I want then.
W: I telling youuuuuuuu. You cry like little girl. You be sooooooo embarrassed.
J: Just shut up and give it to me.
W: OoooooooK. But you regret. You cry like little girl. I warning you.
So off he goes. The rest of us are near in tears we're laughing so hard. So a half hour goes by, here comes the food. Jason was sitting across the table from me and when the waiter put that plate down in front of him it made my eyes water. Then it continues:
W: Here you goooooooooooo. It all yours. Enjoy! *looks to the rest of us* you watch! He cry like little girl.
So we're just dying laughing and finally the waiter floats off to check on someone else.
Jason sits there staring at the plate. He looks a bit worried. His eyes are watering and he hasn't even tasted it yet. So we all start ribbing him and giving him shit over it.
Finally, he goes all in. I'm guessing he figured that if he woofed it down pretty quick it wouldn't be as bad. He shoveled about 4 or 5 bites down in quick succession and it happened.
His face turned red, his eyes just ran like someone turned on a faucet, his nose started running, he fought it but finally he's drinking his beer, then grabbing the ice water, then the salt shaker putting salt on his tongue, the whole 9 yards. Finally, he "OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE HOTTEST SHIT EVER!!!"
And as if he materialized out of thin air, there's our waiter standing right there.
W: I TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. Did I tell you you would cry like little girl? Yes I did! I said that! And there you are crying like little girl!
We all were just losing our shit we were laughing so hard. Half the restaurant was laughing with us. To this day, I have no idea what it was Jason ordered that night. But I'll never forget that waiter riding his ass until we left. And by left I mean until we pulled out of the parking lot. He walked us out to the car, still giving Jason shit.
We wound up stopping at a grocery store down the street and getting him a small carton of buttermilk. Not sure if he was exaggerating or not, but Jason said he couldn't taste anything at all for 3 days.
(according to the rules, when a bag of holding is ruptured or destroyed, it scatters it's contents into the astral plane)
