You can't make this shit up.
www.huffpost.com
Grab a drink? Sure.
Punch a wall a few times? Absolutely.
Go off on a profanity laced tirade to the wall? You betcha.
Go jerk off in front of kids? What the actual fuck?!
Arizona GOP Candidate Arrested For Allegedly Masturbating In Truck Near Preschool
Maricopa County officials say it's too late to remove Randy Kaufman from the ballot in the race for a college district board.
“[Kaufman] appeared to be looking at a cell phone in one hand,” the police report said. “I immediately became alarmed as I saw [Kaufman] had his pants down mid-thigh and was exposed showing his fully erect nude penis. [Kaufman] was manipulating his genitals in a masturbatory manner.”
The officer said Kaufman didn’t seem to notice the officer at first, but that Kaufman was in view of a nearby bicyclist and a preschool where children were playing outside. When confronted, the officer said, Kaufman apologized for the act.
“I’m sorry,” Kaufman said, according to the report. “I fucked up. I’m really stressed.”
You know, I can't count the number of times in my life, especially when I was younger, where I was really stressed out. But the idea of jumping in the car, riding over to the child care / preschool building and masturbating in front of kids never, ever occurred to me.Grab a drink? Sure.
Punch a wall a few times? Absolutely.
Go off on a profanity laced tirade to the wall? You betcha.
Go jerk off in front of kids? What the actual fuck?!
