Hyundai vs. McLaren

Gomez Adams

Grammar Fascist
Staff member
Dec 1, 2020
Suwanee, Georgia
So an old friend of mine I've not seen in a year and change calls just now out of the blue. We're catching up when he tells me this story. This is typical Kurt, and one of the reasons we've kept in touch for decades. Typing done in the style he speaks:

OH MAN! I got hit on 400 last week. 400 had backed up like it always does and some woman tattooed my ass. Just messed up my back bumper but totally fucked her car. So my car (he drives a huge Chevy SUV) is in the shop and I'm in this rental Hyundai Elantra. Pretty nice dude! I'm loving the gas mileage!

So anyway, reason I called today is I thought of you yesterday. I was on my way up 400 in the Elantra, right? And I hear this buzz bomb sound coming. I'm looking in the rear view and see this Porsche coming and I'm thinking "you dumb fuck! why'd you put a shit muffler on your car and completely fuck it up?" and then I see that it's not him. It's the two McLarens behind him that's making the loud noise. Fucking beautiful cars man!

(Kurt knows I've been a McLaren Formula 1 fan my entire life.)

So they're going by and I'm just sitting there drooling and then I'm thinking "Yeah, fuck these guys" and I let them get up ahead of me about a quarter mile or so and I kick it.

So by the time I catch them I'm rolling about 105. I go by them sticking my tongue out at them to see what happens. The Porsche dude and the one McLaren I think were just laughing their asses off. The other McLaren I think took it fucking personally.

So I hear this ROOOOOOAAAAARRRRRRRRR and that bastard goes by me like I'm a herd of grazing cattle. Dude, you should have been there!

I have missed him. :ROFLMAO:

Another snippet from that conversation - we're talking about the last time I came by his house. Then we're thinking about it and covid hit a couple months later. So here is that part of it:

Him: Yeah, yeah, I went out and dropped 200 to 300 dollars on shit, man. Masks, gloves, bought a few Tyvek suits...
Me: No shit?

Him: Yeah, no shit. I was all in. Didn't want that shit. That lasted a few months I think before I threw in the towel and said fuck it.
Me: And when was that, exactly?

Him: August I think. 2nd or 3rd week. Not sure which.
Me: And?

Him: Caught covid in September.
Me: Oh shit! You OK? How'd that go?

Him: Best fucking month of the year for me man! I was out of work for 5 weeks. Bastards wouldn't let me back until I tested totally negative for two weeks. I was loving it!

Yes, I have missed him. :ROFLMAO: