American lumber sucks!

Gomez Adams

Grammar Fascist
Staff member
Dec 1, 2020
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Suwanee, Georgia
exposingwot.com
I tell you, this is just revolting.

I'm going to redo the back deck, so I went up to Lowe's to get some paint supplies and decking. I had estimated with standard pressure treated lumber 2 x 6 x 12 feet at around $7 per board.

I get there and go through, I kid you not, half a pallet of this stuff and can't find a single board worth using. Knots, warped, cracked, you name it. I then bite the bullet and go to the "premium" decking at $11 per board and it wasn't much better.

A Lowe's employee walks up to me as I'm chunking boards into the floor and says, "May I help you?"

I said, "Yes. Get in here and find me 7 boards worth using."

He looked at the lumber in the floor, looked at the stack I was looking through, said, "good luck" and walked off.

Turns out this lumber is American. They normally get their lumber from Canada. The difference in quality is simply astounding. It took 45 minutes and nearly half a pallet of "premium" lumber to find just 7 boards worth using to replace just seven 18 year old Canadian boards that have finally worn out.
 
Allow me to rage a bit more:

So I just got the boards replaced on the inside part of the deck. So you ask me, "How did it go?" Well, here's how it went:

20210905_100412.jpg

Notice there are NO GAPS AT ALL in between the boards? So you ask me, "What happened to the gaps between the boards?" Well, let's talk about that.

Here is the 18 year old Canadian lumber that has taken a beating in the 100 degree Georgia heat of summer and the 17 degree winter we had a few years ago and all things in between:

20210905_100446.jpg

Notice that after all that time, it is pretty much exactly .125 inches below mill spec. Not bad for a board that old. In fact, it's very, very good. Now let's look at the American shit I just replaced some of that with:

20210905_100504.jpg

OF COURSE it's too big! After all, 5/4 x 6 x 12 decking has only been standardized at final cut at 1 x 5.5 x 12 since the 1940's, so obviously we're having problems keeping it together on that end.

Don't think so? Well, don't take my word for it then. Take Lowe's word for it:


So now, rather than secure the new decking down, let it age for a few weeks, then wash, prime and paint the deck, I have to replace it ALL. ALL OF IT.

I swear, I weep for the future of this country. We can't even get a piece of damned decking cut right anymore.

Now, God help me, I'm off to the basement to replace the dehumidifier.
 
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Vegetables are the same way. All you can find is shit now. Everything has been frozen and looks like shit or has black mildew on it. This country doesn't make shit anymore. We import it all and it all comes from shithole countries that are cheap as hell and don't give a shit about quality. But they still charge us premium price for chinese and mexican shit.
 
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Finally done.

It turned out that the lumber was all kinds of different sizes; from 5 3/8 inch up to 5 3/4 and all sizes in between.

I wound up changing the gaps between boards on the fly to compensate.

20210912_103232.jpg

Now I wait a few weeks for it to weather in, pressure wash the white parts, sand it all and seal and repaint it.

I'm tired of stains that say they last 5 years and are gone in 2.

Going old school with Kilz silver gray exterior paint on the deck. The railings will stay the same with Valspar Extreme Exterior Satin White.

The paint on there now is 15 years old. Same brand.
 
So work continued today on the deck. I broke out the sander to get a smooth surface on the railings and pickets.

I then ran into a problem: I thought I had two tunes of caulk left but I didn't. (Or the wife threw them out for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.)

So I run down to Lowe's to get a couple tubes of caulk and my eyes are assaulted right inside the front doors:

20210926_112621.jpg

🙄
 
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So work continued today on the deck. I broke out the sander to get a smooth surface on the railings and pickets.

I then ran into a problem: I thought I had two tunes of caulk left but I didn't. (Or the wife threw them out for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.)

So I run down to Lowe's to get a couple tubes of caulk and my eyes are assaulted right inside the front doors:

View attachment 835

🙄


Well yes!! If your Halloween stuff isn't on the sale table yet you are behind the sales calendar curve.
 
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So I'm finally done.

After a LOT of sanding I got two coats of primer down a couple days ago:

20211012_081522.jpg

And here's the finished product with the final coat of Silver-Gray deck paint put down this morning:

20211014_110653.jpg

Now all I have to do is give it a couple days to fully cure and put the plants and grill back out there and shop for a decent patio set.