Alert5 – Camping, Team Killing, Shit Talking Asshole UPDATED
This story has been updated as of 8/30/17 at 4:53pm Eastern Standard Time.
Just shortly after this article was posted, it was brought to the attention of someairforcedude who is a combat officer for the clan SNRK. He was appalled not only by Alert5’s moronic behavior, but by the fact we painted their entire clan with the same brush.
For that, we apologize. Frankly, we’ve never seen a clan actually take action against a member for this kind of bullshit behavior. SNRK is the first of ANY of the clans we’ve featured here to take action.
That said, we would like to thank SNRK and its leadership. We would also like to apologize for grouping them in with the rest of the assholes of this game. They (SNRK) are what we had become convinced no longer existed: A clan of real men of character.
The original story with edits to remove our incorrect assumptions about SNRK follows:
Here we go again folks!
And once again, it’s our man Leftist who, for whatever fucking reason, gets picked on again.
In this episode, Alert5 FORMERLY of SNRK, hides like a bitch, camps, gets called on it, then decides to attack his own teammate to distract others from the fact he sucks.
Now, in the interest of full disclosure, this game was shit on a lot of people’s part. Leftist in fact had a shitty game as well, but that’s beside the point. The point is, this asshole Alert5 did it all to detract from the fact that he was a camping pussy.
What’s more, he couldn’t keep track of who it was that insulted him. Fun fact, asshole: IT WASN’T LEFTIST.
Now, from the start this looks like it’s going to be yet another peek-a-boom fest with the winner being the one that gets the better RNG. That’s exactly what it turned out to be. But from the very start, Alert5 runs up front, does a u-turn, and camps harder than a boy scout troop at jamboree.
Here were are just into the game:
Now, at 13:24 (right at a minute-and-a-half into the game) Alert5 has already run up behind that hill, pitched a tent, started a camp fire, and he’s roasting marsh mallows. Now, it’s about another minute-and-a-half later that somebody notices that Alert5, the scout, is STILL SITTING THERE doing fuckall. Drewledrewll77 (where the fuck do these people get these names) calls him out on it.
And about 26 seconds later, he does so again.
Now, this is where the shit gets ridiculous. After sitting there camping for, at this point, THREE-AND-A-HALF MINUTES, he wakes up and instantly starts map spamming the shit out of Leftist.
Now, what he couldn’t know and what you’ll see if you watch the video, is that Leftist put himself into a pretty damn bad spot. He got his ass hammered early on, then got in a few pot shots at the end and moved on up.
But Alert5 simply assumed he was hiding and doing nothing. He also assumed it had been Leftist that called him out for being the camping bitch that he is.
At this point, Leftist has NEVER SAID A SINGLE FUCKING THING. As Leftist tries to catch up to the group ahead of him, Alert5 sits there (AGAIN) and waits for him to get there and then just fucking shoots him.
It is at this point that Leftist finally says something. It’s one word: Reported. That leads us to this:
Leftist lets it go and is trying to get to the other side of the map where the last enemy is. Of course, he has no chance to make it there in time. But Alert5, that tough guy! That team player! That stupid cock-sucking idiot who was in the fastest tank in the match with enough power to EASILY chase down and kill pretty much anybody, decides to do about the only thing he’s good at: Fuck with his own teammate:
And then, of course:
Leftists only other words were: Reported With Replay.
This is the bullshit that has ruined the fucking game, folks. You can’t just log on, play your game or two and log off. Nope. Not going to happen. Some fucking asshole that’s more interested in fucking with his own team is always going to be there. It never fucking ends.
So, should you ever see Alert5, you might want to just shoot first and ask questions later. After all, minding your own business will do nothing but get your ass killed.