NeatoMan is, quite literally, a one-of-a-kind forum troll. That is to say, he typically only comments on one particular theme: The MM.
That’s pretty much it. Now, he’ll occasionally pop in to the random “thread at large” and put his two cents in, but he LIVES for MM threads.
Why? Well, because as best we can figure, he must be paid to do so. After all, in the face of literally 10’s of thousands of threads about how bad the MM is, how failed a mechanic it is, and how absolutely horrid it has been for years, NeatoMan is the only man to constantly and adamantly defend it.
It really is quite something. I mean, in our experience, he’s the only person that has ever constantly defended the MM in the face of all evidence that it needs work.
In fact, when someone actually suggested a complete rework to fix the MM, Neatoman had this to say:
A complete redo will not fix this.
Really? So if they made a new MM from scratch to fix all the problems, it wouldn’t fix the problems. Gotcha. But his MM arguments don’t start there. In fact, the stupidity and lunacy just begins there. Feast your eyes on this argument:
First of all 30-35% games are totally reasonable and do not lead to any more blowouts than balanced games. Secondly, 30-35% games are usually not caused by large skill imbalances.
OK, so in other words, 65% to 70% of all games are totally unreasonable. That’s what you just said, shit for brains. If only 30% to 35% are reasonable, then that leaves the rest unreasonable. Yet, you don’t see that as a problem? You don’t see that as something that needs some work? Actually, a shitload of work?
Everybody else in the game thinks it does. In fact, many for years have been calling out for a reasonable, skill based MM. But you’re against that as well. Let’s take a look at why, shall we?
Given the player skill distribution on the server where good players are less plentiful than bad players, the MM is far more likely to balance a good player by putting bad players on his team than it is to put another good player on the other.
No, dipshit. That’s your dumbassed idea. Skill based MM is EXACTLY THAT: SKILL BASED. It makes SURE that the talent is equal on both teams. So if it puts a 60% player on one team, the guy opposite him will be 60% as well. (+/- 1 to 2%)
That’s the entire point behind SKILL BASED MM: IT BALANCES THE SKILL, YOU FUCKING MORON.
There is no, “well, it’ll just throw all the skill on one team if it wants to” bullshit. That’s what it does NOW.
But wait! There’s more complete stupidity by this bought-and-paid-for asshat:
Given 2 good players in queue, currently they randomly end up split evenly between teams, or two on the same team. If they end up on one team when you balance them then one player is being moved to a worse team, or the other is getting a worse player to replace him. The end result over time is both those good players end up with worse team mates than they would get in a random system.
Wrong again, dumbass. They GET THE SAME TEAMS. They’ll both have the SAME CHANCE TO WIN. What they will NOT get is what we have now where 4 of them are on one team up against NOBODY having any skill at all on the other.
Where does he get this shit? It simply defies any and all logic, and yet he’s got his little army of Wotlabs stat whore yes-men that follow him around agreeing with him. After all, they are the ones benefiting from the very system in place now, which is of course why the last thing on earth they want is a skill based MM to level the playing field.
Because if that happened, they’d be fighting each other and not the rank and file average players the vast majority of the time. And of course, playing against each other will hurt their precious stats, and they can’t let that happen now can they?
Now, just to be clear, let’s take a look at this “end-all-be-all” champion of the current MM:
Wow. Really? You’re going to talk about “bad” players and “worse” players being put on your team? Let’s take a look at his performance charts, shall we?
Wow. Dude. You’re on the express elevator to hell. That’s unfortunate. That must be that fantastic MM you love and protect so much giving you a fair deal, right?
Oh wait…sorry folks…there’s this:
After going 70% yesterday, and seemingly unable to lose in my Mutz, I am now 30% playing the exact same tanks. The change in my team mates is like night and day, and now I think I know how WG does it.
It’s not battle tiers, it’s not all goods vs all bads… they put the player with the most team damage on the team they want to lose. Yesterday the opposing teams had a number of TKers. Today I got three games with TKers, and a few more with plain old griefers. All it takes is one person to send your team into a tailspin.
You’ve got to be fucking kidding, right? YOU of ALL PEOPLE are NOW SAYING THE MM IS RIGGED?!?!
We wouldn’t have believed it if we hadn’t seen it with our own eyes. Check out Neatoman’s Crying Like a Bitch thread.
So after all his nay saying of everybody else, in the end, he cries about it being rigged.
And that, folks, is the typical hypocrisy of the entire Wotlabs crowd in action.